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Awesomeness™ Framework
Press Release
WASHINGTON, D.C., August 28, 2006 -- Ivanpapusha.com presents the Awesomeness™ Framework, which, two years in development, promises to eventuate agent feature enhancement. According to its inventor, the framework relies on the emerging field of probabilistic topology to gently exfoliate the surface of a smooth high-dimensional manifold with massaging aloe beads to stimulate intrinsic brain modes of variation, such as Coolness™, Dandyness™, and the newly-discovered, patent-pending Groovyness™ parameter.
At the heart of the system is an integrated Awesomeness™ filter agent. It works with the iMcul™ feedback control mechanism to accentuate traits marked as Desirable™ by the attribute-sensitive meter, and to inject the test subject with a given quality. As a result, the positive feedback loop amplifies good traits and attenuates bad ones.
Unlike in previous structuralizations of this framework, an integrated ηRme™ quality control system seeks and destroys anomalous and sub-optimal traits left behind by the filter agent to leave only the desirable parameters. The system also features a scalable security architecture to prevent breaches in system integrity. Therefore, a secure system does not necessitate decreased collaboration.
"We are cautiously excited here at Ivanpapusha.com." - said the founder and CEO - "Under certain conditions, the framework could be used to enhance many human subjects by alleviating them from Unhappyness™, Angryness™, Uncoolness™, and by the end of the year, Dirtyness™, Smellyness™, and Colorblindness™."
Preliminary analysis shows that the framework far exceeds expectations for amplifying given parameters, and has a theoretical open-loop Coolness™ gain of 10,000. Initial licenses are expected to go on sale in Q2 2007.